BONUS BLOG -- 1955: THIS ISLAND EARTH

What’s it about?

While flying his personal fighter jet cross country, a scientist encounters a mysterious phenomenon that takes control of his plane temporarily. Later, strange and seemingly impossibly advanced electronic parts arrive at his laboratory in response to a routine supply order. These are followed by the equally mysterious arrival of instructions on how to build a puzzling device called an “interociter”. Once completed, the interociter turns out to be a television the size of a Volkswagen with a triangular screen that can't have been adequately product-tested. (It later turns out to have convenient built-in laser beams as well.)

Upon plugging in the interociter, a man with a lumpy forehead appears on the screen and invites the scientist to a secret meeting of intellectuals at an undisclosed location. After delivering the message, the interociter destroys both itself and all the blueprints for its construction. Undeterred by this, the scientist travels to the secret meeting anyway but soon deduces that maybe something is a little amiss at the compound. But before the scientist can escape, he and a woman scientist are whisked away in a flying saucer to the dying world of Metaluna. The planet is on the verge of being annihilated as a result of being constantly pummelled by meteorites guided by its enemies. The two Earth scientists are needed to help finish research on an energy source powerful enough to charge the failing deflector shields that can keep the planet from exploding in a shower of sparks.


Illustration copyright 2009 Dennis J. Reinmueller


Is it any good?

I’m not really sure how to answer that question since THIS ISLAND EARTH is a baffling mixture of good and bad. The script, despite a lot of interesting ideas, feels thoroughly half-baked. The beginning of the movie takes its time and unfolds its mysteries slowly, but after landing on the planet Metaluna the movie suddenly can’t seem to be finished quickly enough. The plight of the planet is illustrated pretty well, but then a deux ex machina raises its implausible head, and the Earthlings are rescued from the dying planet without having done anything interesting at all except commute on the planet’s light rail system.

The dialogue is often awful -- the better lines in the movie are pure exposition, and the worst are nothing but nonsense. (The only exception to this is a single immortal line that is brilliant both in and out of context: “I feel like a new toothbrush.”) The film makers also clearly have neither any regard for nor any knowledge of science. I don’t mind when a sci-fi movie elides over the nuts and bolts of an impossible invention, but THIS ISLAND EARTH just seems intent on flaunting its ignorance in the most unnecessary ways. At one point, for instance, a cat is introduced and a character explains that they call him Neutron “because he’s so positive”.

Yet, coupled to all these shortcomings is a movie that looks absolutely fantastic. Looking at the sets and special effects, it’s clear that THIS ISLAND EARTH is not a B-movie. The end of the movie especially is one elaborate special effects sequence after another. Some elements -- such as the insectoid mutants that act as servants on Metaluna -- are pretty disappointing. But others -- like shots of the flying saucer skimming over the alien world’s surface as it’s bombarded by falling meteorites -- are amazing. It’s not that the special effects are especially realistic or convincing, but they’re captivating and exhilarating nonetheless. And everything is shot in crisp, vivid Technicolor. Unfortunately, the shiny special effects do nothing to hide the absurdities in the script, and the ending of the movie is truly an unforgivable let-down.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that THIS ISLAND EARTH’s biggest claim to fame these days may be that it was screened on the Satellite of Love in MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE (1996). Also, the Professor from Gilligan’s Island has a supporting role.